It all started after Christmas. BoyChild had a friend over and they were playing upstairs in the playroom. I was downstairs starting dinner when he ran downstairs, grabbed the January edition of Vanity Fair with Kate Winslet on the cover and headed upstairs.
- Hey hey hey. Where are you going with my magazine?
- Nowhere. Upstairs.
- Why are you taking my magazine?
- No reason. I just like magazines.
- You have ten minutes of playtime yet. Start cleaning up the mess up there and then y'all get in the car so i can take him home. Leave the magazine down here.
I wasn't sure what to make of it at first. I had already looked through it and I knew there were some rather provocative shots of Ms. Winslet in there that revealed her ass (really lovely, shots in the vein of Belle du Jour, actually), but was that what he was going to show his friend? Maybe they just needed a magazine for some other project they were doing. The kids were always cutting up magazines. That was probably it. I'm sure he was just looking for pictures of cars.
But to be sure, a few days later, I found myself alone with him and I picked up the magazine.
- So, hey, is this the magazine you wanted to look at the other day?
- I don't know, maybe.
- Was there something specific in it that you were interested in?
- Nah (waaay too nonchalantly). I just like magazines.
- Yeah, me too. Do you want to look at this magazine with me?
- Ok, sure.
So we sit there flipping through the pages and we talk about photography and lighting and advertising. I get to the spread of Kate and explain that it's set up to look like a famous movie and that lots of people are involved in picking the furniture and the setting up lights. Blah blah blah. "Oh, and this one is kind of silly because you can see her bottom." He laughs a little. And I go on to explain how lots of photographers and artists like to draw or paint or photograph the human body because it's so beautiful. And he agrees and listens and that's that.
Fast forward to a few weeks later and Drew and I are downstairs listening to an argument brewing upstairs between the kids.
- No! She can't be naked if she's going to be the princess. If you're going to play Barbies with me you have to play right.
-Well I don't want to play Barbies with you unless she is naked.
I listen on the stairs for a while then head up there.
- Hey guys. What are y'all playing?
- (He quickly shoves the naked Barbie under the table.) Nothing
I send his sister downstairs and we have a little chat.
- So, it sounded like you were very interested in the Barbe being naked.
- No I wasn't
- It's okay if you were. Everyone is curious about what people look like naked.
- Really?
- Sure. I was and so was your dad. Everyone is curious about that.
-Ok
- Do you have any questions about it?
- Uh...no
- Well, first of all you know that real women don't really look like a Barbie doll, right? (I resist the urge to go into what I really want to here. One thing at a time) but when girls grow up they get breasts and their bodies change just like boys' bodies change. You remember what breasts are for, right?
- For feeding babies?
- Right! Exactly.
- Then why do you still have them?
- Uh, well, that's a good question. I mean, they don't just disappear. And women who don't have babies have them even though they might never feed a baby with them. And some women have babies and feed their children with a bottle. They're kind of just there in case.
- Ok.
- Do you have any other questions?
- No
- You know you can ask me anything, don't you?
- Uh huh.
It was at that point that I realized he was so completely embarassed that I stopped. After telling him how normal he was like 32 times and asking him a few times why he was suddenly so interested in all this, I let it go. My first thought was total fear, like, who's been talking to him? Has something happened that I'm not aware of? And then I sort of got that this is how it goes. We aren't quite to SEX yet, but we are right on that cusp.
I got him a book geared for kids with the very basic facts of life. All in kiddie illustrations. Nothing too weird or sexual. Just kind of a funny and normal take on things and I read it with him. He seemed completely disinterested and I set it on the dryer to return to B&N. Then a few weeks ago, I found it had moved to his room. I didn't say a word, just cleaned off his nightstand and left it there.
He just turned seven. I was really not expecting this sort of thing so early. I mean, he's very mature in most ways. I know, I know, I sound like a mom. But he is a weird kid in his social maturity. A friend of ours ate with him in the cafeteria the other day and said he's someone she'd love to just take to lunch and talk to. While her kid is picking his nose and giggling, mine is saying things like, "So, Ryan, I was wondering...what would you like to be when you grow up?" The combination of his interest and his social skills concern me a great deal. There's no stopping it now.